What Happens When I Read The Bible

Often times nothing. Nothing happens. I come out with a million questions, and feel at a loss to get answers. Sometimes I’m bored out of my mind and I spend more time thinking about how I’d rather be doing something else. Sometimes I have to be honest and admit that somewhere in my heart, I think I have better things to do than be with Jesus and read His word to me. But I know that’s so wrong, so I end up mad at myself that I think and feel that way. When one walks down this path, they walk out of their “time with the Lord” in more bondage than they went into it with.

This is stupid. I’m not doing it anymore.

The only eternal relationship this exists in my life is the one between Jesus and me. And I love Him. And He loves me. And I want to love Him more. And he can’t love me more. Because of this, I will give myself to His word, and I will ask for grace to stay focused, I will ask for his Spirit to come and teach me, I will ask for wisdom to apply it to my life, and I will ask to be transformed by it.

My quiet time today must have been AWESOME! Nope. It wasn’t much different than they usually are, but I had fun anyway. I read Genesis 1-3, and these are some things I noticed:

- The Lord gave Adam the boundary regarding the Trees before He gave Adam Eve, but Eve knew the boundary. Adam must have discipled her in the Lords ways before the fall.

- Man was made for intimate relationship (not only in a sensual way, but in a private and personal way). So the Lord, offered Adam “the wild animals and birds” and he rejected them all. The Lord offered them to Him, knowing that they weren’t the best option, but in the offering of them, relationship grew.

- The Bible says the serpent was shrewd? Not evil beyond measure and detestable to God? Just shrewd? Doesn’t the bible call us to be shrewd somewhere? Innocent as doves yet shrewd as foxes or something?

- God gave instruction to Adam, knowing full well the mess that would become of creation, and then gave him the greatest gift. Woman. If you knew someone was about to wreck your creation, break your heart, rebel and completely dishonor and disobey you, would you give him or her the greatest gift ever? The Lord is crazy! I want to be like Him!

- The first emotion felt after sin entered Adam and Eve (and all of creation) was shame, specifically over their bodies. The very form that God would walk the Earth in, the very place where His presence now dwells.

- After the fall, Adam gave Eve her name; “to give life”. A very nice name for someone who just let evil enter the world to torment every person for all generations

- Then God made clothes for them, why didn’t he just deliver them from shame and leave them naked? I would probably be spending much less money on clothes today if He had.

- God’s course of action after the fall is ridiculous: He comes to them, talks it out a bit, sets the serpent straight, address Adam and Eve (although I’m not sure if he cursed them, or just explained the consequences of their actions, or both), he made them clothes (the first sacrifice perhaps?), and then he protected them from completely ruining the relationship with Him forever by sending them from the garden, away from the Tree of Life. “Banished” sounds like such a punishment, like he cast them out of the best place to live and made them suffer in a yucky land. The definition summed up: to send, send away, let go, stretch out, extend, direct, to let loose, to send off or away or out or forth, dismiss, give over, cast out. It’s the same word used in 1 Chronicles 13 to describe David sending messages to the Israelites to invite them to join him in celebration as they brought the Ark back. It seems to me He was protecting them. He placed a “mighty cherubim…with a flaming sword…that flashes back and forth” to violently protect His plan to bring us back to Him. Now that’s cool.

In the days to come, I expect to receive big gifts from God as I give myself to His word. And I can’t wait to share them! I am blessed with time to spend with Jesus, a blessing that not all have currently. So for the ones who work 40+ hours a week, for the ones who take care of children, house, and home, for the ones who have a different call, and for the ones that carry me as I give my life to love and serve the youth of this city, I will spend my time with Jesus and I will offer what I receive to you, because I believe the blessing is for you too!

Words of Love

Here are two facebook messages exchanged between a beautiful young girl growing up in Tacoma and me. Here are Words of Love.

Dear Ellie,

I was just praying for you this morning, and some of this I've told you before, but I just have to tell you again. I'm SO proud of you. When I look at you, when I think about your life, I don't see a little kid, a crazy middle schooler who's not quite there yet. I see a woman of God, a woman who has walked with God through good times and bad, one who has been faithful, held on to a pure heart, one who has held on to every word the Lord has spoken over her. Ellie, God has a special grace on you. You and Jesus together, will absolutely and completely change your family, an entire generation! =) This year has been a war in your family: cousins have got arrested and sent up, one had two babies, two more having babies, one brother is having a baby, and the other is getting arrested and expelled from school. Your mom looses her relationship. And then there's you. Faithfully following Jesus. I know God is coming to rescue them, and his hand is already resting upon you. You have laid down almost every friendship in order to follow Jesus this year. You've forgiven people who have treated you SO badly, just because you know Jesus is the only way and you are willing to go that way no matter what. You are applying to school, determined to live a holy life. Ellie, you are special. I learn from you. I've understood Jesus more this year, understood love more this year, understood the power of God, understood real friendship more this year because of you. I'm crying as I write this because God didn't send me up here to bless you, but he blessed me with you. Laying in my bed last night, I was thinking of the future: getting to be at your junior high, and high school and collage graduations, seeing you at your first job, getting to know the man that decided to pursue you. Those are the things I like to dream about! Those are the things that the Lord dreams about for you. And I'm so glad that we get to dream together too. I love you girl!

AWWWWWWWWWWWW , iLove Yuu T2 Robynn ! And Thanks Too Yuu , i Am This Person ! And EveryThing Happens For Ah Reason , Soo i Am Jusss Gonnna Wait On My Blesssings And Dont Let NO BODY COme In Between That ! i Jussss Thinkk About Those Things T000 , Abouut How Far God Will Let This Friendship Last , And i Thank Yuu T000 Because , When i Wasnt Tooo Nice And Faithfull , Yuu Were Still There Thruu Out It Alll ! i Love Yuu Robynn , !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Ellie W // Loove ! <333

A Word of Love can transform a heart. 1 John 4:19 We love because He first loved us.

A Battle of Life and Death

Last spring the YFC ministry that I volunteer for moved into a new office. Our new office is on the Hilltop, the hood. It’s an area known for gangs, drugs, violence, and broken people from broken families. On the first tour I took of the building that is now our office, I asked about our neighbors, Cedar River Clinic. I already knew I didn’t want to know the answer. Cedar River is an abortion clinic.

Every day in my office, people sit at desks, they plan, they study God’s word, they meet, they pray, worship, they love kids in the city, they encourage one another, they cry, they eat and laugh and live life. Next door the devil rages, and death takes another and another and another. I’ve walked passed it, parked in front of it, and prayed against it. I’ve wondered about how many have gone in? How many haven’t come out? Do they know about me like I know about them? I wonder if the staff would ever refer a girl to us? I want to know more, but sometimes you can’t un-ask a question. Last week I followed my wonderings, and I visited their website. My emotions flowed like a damn just broken. Anger. Sadness. Grief. Love. Compassion. Urgency. Something changed in my heart: where I had been only been standing on truth, I am now a warrior wielding the sword of truth.

It’s not as some think. “Just chose life, just keep your baby, why don’t you give it up fo

r adoption? How could a woman kill her own child? Murderer! What’s wrong with these girls? They’ll have to live with that for the rest of their lives!” Does this sound familiar? I used to sound like this. Do you sound like this? A clear picture of death has been painted and although we all know life, we’ve missed something. Death is bad and life is good, is far too simplistic. We fight death with life, but how can we fight death if we don’t understand life?

A living baby. I’ve haven’t had one yet, but this is what I do know about living babies. They cry all the time. They poop all the time. They need something almost every second of the day. Clothes. Diapers. Sometimes expensive formula. Wipes. Bibs. Medicine. Time. Attention. At 1am. And 2am. And 3am. And 4am. Although that’s God’s design, it doesn’t really sound like the joy and peace and light and purpose that we think of when we hear the word life.

Allow me to introduce you to a precious, living baby, and her mom who chose life. Sometimes I think I love them more than anyone else in the world. Mom was 15 when she got pregnant, 16 when she had her. She lives with dad, or aunt, or baby daddy, or friends. Now she’s on assistance. She doesn’t go to school anymore. She doesn’t have a job. She’s was happens when you chose life. It’s not glamorous, and could easily look like a tragedy in itself, but it’s precious beyond any earthly treasure. I want to see more like these two and less traffic at my neighbors. I want to see more life, even if it means that I’m the one changing poopy diapers at 2am. I want to choose life!

Will you please choose life? Will you bless a young mom next time you see one? Tell her you’re proud of her, and she’s doing a great job. It might be the first time she’s ever heard that. Will you buy her some wipes? And an ice cream cone? Will you change a diaper? Because that is life. That will defeat death.

“The thief comes only to steal kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Jesus in John 10:10.

He said "YES!"

Yesterday I prayed that God would help me connect with some specific girls after being out of town for a couple week. Today, he said "YES!"

We are starting a new Impact Team to love and serve at local middle school, so I decided I would stop by today. Our church meets there every Sunday evening, but I’ve never seen it in school mode, I’ve never seen a kid there. We have a couple guys working the lunch hour, and our fearless leader Trent was going to meet me there. I stopped by the office to get my visitors badge and walked into the cafeteria. I listened to the principal make his announcements, scanning the room for “my girls” (I use the term loosely, as any girl I’ve met becomes “my girl”.) I see two I hang out with regularly, one more who I love to talk to but haven’t made the jump to one on ones yet, and one who I love but is….still a long way off. One of them had just spent the morning in the principals office, her teacher had to physically restrain her from beating up a girl. Yikes! Some of them asked if they could be in my cabin for winter camp. I didn’t know I was going to camp, but after that, how could I not go? As lunch comes to a close, each girl came and gave me a special hug. One tells me to text her on her friends phone, one invites me to her first volleyball game tomorrow, one tells me she will go to camp for the first time if she can be in my cabin at camp, and one doesn’t say anything because she knows I’ll see her again soon. As if my heart isn’t bursting already, it get’s better!

Fearless leader Trent walked me back to the office to sign out. He introduced me to the principle, who asked when I’ll be coming to visit. I told him that I would stop in every once and while to see some of the girls I know. Trent told him that I’m connected to some kids through our outreach program on Tuesday night. The principle looked at me and asked, “Mmmm, how well connected are you?” Being that’s a tough question to answer, I laugh and reply, “Pretty well connected.” He turned around and called for a girl who’s sitting in the office waiting for him, she was “in trouble.”

“This is Kara. Kara, this is my friend Robyn, we used to go to school together.” I’m not really for lying to kids, but his heart to tear down her walls so she’d open up to me, is beyond precious and borderline miraculous, considering his position at a public school. “Why don’t you go talk in that conference room?”

Kara laughs unhappily, “But I don’t know her.”

“Just go.” He replied

I spent the next thirty minutes listening to Kara angrily share about her crazy teacher that regularly calls her an idiot, who sent her to the office because she fell asleep in class. She tells me about her dad in prison, her step dad who she thought was her real dad, her eight siblings, and cynically laughs as she tells me how today was an extraordinarily bad day. She tells me about her friends, which turns out to be almost every kid in the school, and how there is really only one she isn’t cool with. She tells me how she was arrested at school and put in Remann Hall last month, for “putting her hands on” her mom. I wasn’t surprised; any kid that bold…and angry would surely tour the local detention center. Can you say kingpin kid? Can you see the Lord’s strategy? Can you see how God builds his Kingdom on earth?

It’s just like God, to answer my prayer of yesterday to better connect with some of these girls, in such a dramatic way. And to bless me with a new friend named Kara.

Can you say Robyn’s going to be spending more lunches at school?

Lord Come Quickly

Lord come quickly. Nothing like a death to make you get your priorities straight. Nothing like a shock to make you stop and think. Nothing like a holy victory to provoke the enemy. And nothing like the ragings of the devil to make me desperate for the Lord to come…quickly.

Last night at church, we commissioned 13 young people to start a church. 13 people who know broken family, poverty, drugs, gangs, jail, prostitution. They know the ragings of the devil, and they know victory. With the covering and help of City Central Missions Base, they will start a church that raises up the next generation to love Jesus with their whole heart, mind, soul, and strength. Last night, they heard the call of God, and they answered. But there was a darker call last night, and a darker answer. Lord come quickly.

10 blocks away, the devil was raging. The Lord was moving in his plan to rescue this generation, to spark revival, to visit us again, and the devil replied. He planted violence and rage, jealousy and insecurity, fear and futility, deep in the hearts of 6 other youth. A fight broke out. The devil raged. The gun was fired. And a life was ended. 13 students declared they were not turning back, they were running in victory towards Jesus, declaring the devil wouldn’t have them, so he took another one. Lord come quickly.

What are the people saying? “We're all getting sick of these punks dirtying up the planet. I say take them all out in a "War on Gangs". What kind of coward pulls a gun in a fist fight? Gang members, They're cowards that are nothing unless they're in packs or carrying a gun. This was obviously gang activity; complete low lifes of our society. Now one of them is laying in the hospital with a gun shot wound to the head.....compliments of the taxpayer caring for him because I doubt the slimeball had insurance.” Thanks to the News Tribune for publishing that. Lord come quickly.

In this hour, there is no time for accusation and debate. There is no time for pity or apathy. And there is no reason for defeat. The unseen kingdoms are warring, and there are casualties daily. How will you fight? Not fighting, is not an option. Not fighting means the battle continues, and more will die. How will you fight? God has made you to fight, we are warriors in his army, and we walk forward in authority and victory. Lord come quickly.

He is coming and he will establish his kingdom. He is coming and the enemy will be imprisoned. He is coming and there will be no more sadness and no more tears. He is coming and families will be restored, addictions will be broken, infirmity will be rendered powerless, the truth will reign, and True Love will sit on his throne. So go now and fight for the King, go and fight before there is another casualty. The Lord is coming quickly.

Growing Up...Again

I moved into a house with three friends this week. Sounds like a pretty normal thing to do as a single lady in her mid 20's, but it was a big deal. I didn't know why it was, or even how I knew it was, it just was. I was pondering and praying, wanting to know exactly what the big deal was. I saw that over the last 3 years, I had grown up...again. At age 23, I had just graduated from college, I was working and financially independent, living with friends, fully capable, and taking care of myself. The world would say that's exactly what every 23 year old should be doing. I'm not so sure. Three years ago, I gave it all to the Lord to follow his leading. I ended up in a Discipleship Training School, where a college degree, work experience, financial independence, life stage, or worldly capabilities don't build your resume, but where intimacy with the Lord is the highest qualifier. I didn't choose any of my daily activities, had specific chores, consequnces, had to ask for permission to do almost everything. I ate what was put in front of me, and life was simple. Like a child. I think in some ways I really was like a child, and the outer lifestyle of a DTS student reflected my inner life, as a spiritual child. Children can be selfish, impatient, demanding, harsh, inflexible, but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. There was little fruit in my life. Now here I am three years later, back where I started...but not really. The Lord has graduated me, and His pleasure washes over me. He's added back to my life what I thought I was already capable of, and what I thought I deserved. So, now I'm 26, working and financially independent, living with friends, fully capable, and taking care of my myself. The world would say that's exactly what every 26 year old should be doing. But now I don't care what the world says, because this time, God said.

Everybody Loves Photo Booth!