"Oh Jesus!"

This could be the longest blog post ever, but read on because it's worth it. Promise.

I had the most incredible ministry experience I’ve ever had. Here’s how it happened.

Three years ago I led a cabin for summer camp. Four girls. They ran away, got high in the woods, stayed up all night ignoring my requests to go to sleep, and left the second day. Welcome to urban ministry Robyn.

About 8 months ago I ran into three of the girls at the mall (every good story includes the Tacoma Mall, don’t you think?) I exchanged numbers with one of them, and heard from this lovely lady two to three times a week, we just liked to say “Good Morning!” to each other and see what our plans were for the day. About four months ago she needed a ride to an appointment, this lovely lady was becoming a lovely mama.

This week I dropped off a Pack N’ Play for said lovely mama, and was so happy to see another friend from that fateful day of summer camp! This is how it went:

Lovely mama: yelling across the apt “Hey girl, you gonna tell Robyn?”

Lovely mama’s mama: “Girl, stop running your mouth. She doesn’t need to tell anyone. She has an appointment.”

Lovely mama: “She hasn’t made an appointment YET!”

Here's a helpful translation for you:

Lovely mama: “Are you going to tell Robyn you’re pregnant. I want you to tell her, that’s why I’m yelling across the house right now.”

Lovely mama’s mama: “Don’t talk about this, she’s probably going to terminate the pregnancy.”

Lovely mama: “There’s still hope mom, she hasn’t made the appointment yet.”

Game time! I went into the other room, where this friend was laying on the floor reading a book. This friend, let’s call her Eva; it means life. Eva can be a VERY quiet lady, a sentence more than 3 words is rarely heard. I asked her a couple questions, and then just waited. I knew she wanted to talk; she just needed some time. Sure enough, her heart came pouring out: fears of raising a child that would have to endure the same life she’s had to, not knowing dad, never seeing mom, having to be raised by grandma, and feeling guilty every single day. Plus, the dad already said he didn’t need a third kid. She was scared. No, terrified.

When someone’s life is hanging in the balance, I usually don’t know what to say. I just freak out on the inside, pray something like, “Oh Jesus!” and then calmly say what I know to be true. This is going to be hard, the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but I know you, and I know God, and you CAN do it. I know it’s not what you were hoping for, not what is best, not what people are telling you to do, but you CAN do it. I told her briefly about other girls who I know that are parenting, and resources that are out there. And then I prayed, really hard.

Later that night in my churches prayer room (all good stories should include a prayer room too), I decided to try to get her in for an ultrasound appointment. 96% of women who see their babies via ultrasound decide to carry to term. I made a phone call to my amazing friends at CareNet. We came up with a plan to get her an ultrasound the next day. Eva liked the idea.

She first needed to take a pregnancy test, and afterward was able to talk to a CareNet advocate who gave her lots of information on all her options. As we drove to another CareNet clinic for her ultrasound appointment, she told me learning so much made it easier, she wasn’t as scared and could think more clearly.

I waited in the reception area, praying more “Oh Jesus!” types of prayers. The nurse came and invited me to the back; Eva had asked if I could come too. They hadn’t started the ultrasound yet, so I got to see the whole thing. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I got to see this little person being knit together by the hand of God, right there in front of my face. The Great and Glorious King, my Jesus, was marking this little person with His image, in perfect wisdom giving it gifts and talents, personality, a destiny. Deciding weather it will like ice cream or not. The reality is mind blowing! We got to see its head, body, arms, hands, bones, the right AND left sides of its brain, its beating heart. We got to watch it do flips and suck its thumb! Eva laughed a little; she was falling in love, and was slightly relieved that her baby had a brain.

After the ultrasound, we went back to a little room to talk. The nurse had already talked to Eva, and therefore knew that she wasn’t sure if she would keep it or not. We went over the ultrasound pictures, and the nurse asked if Eva would want to hear about what an abortion procedure would be like for her stage in the pregnancy. As the nurse explained it, all information I knew, my mind started to reel a bit. I’ll be honest; it shook me up a bit. How many have sat in this room and made a decision? How many chose to keep their baby? How many didn’t? I wondered about what Eva was thinking and feeling. I marveled at the nurse, she was amazing, speaking the truth with a heart so full of love. Then she prayed. We scheduled a follow up appointment on our way out the door.

I walked out speechless, but knew I couldn’t stay that way. “Oh Jesus!”

I asked Eva what she thought, and she had quite a few. “I didn’t know the baby was so big, it was moving so much! And it can suck its thumb! I guess it’s not much of a decision now. And I guess it doesn’t matter as much, what he says, I would have to live with all the regret anyway.”

Relief doesn’t really begin to describe how I felt, but it’s the only word I can think of. She was going to carry the baby to term. Parenting or perhaps choosing a mom and dad to parent, that is a decision that we now have time for. In the meantime, I’m celebrating with all my heart! That little flippy floppy thumb sucking person, carrying the Glory of God, is going to live! Oh Jesus!

I ate ice cream to celebrate, and I think that little baby is going to like ice cream too.

The Birthday Bash

One breakthrough that I have come to love in discipling kids is that of trust; trust that lets me into a kid’s home and into their family. I’ve come to learn that’s a high level breakthrough, trust isn’t plentiful in a wounded heart. I have been discipling one young lady for two and a half years or so, and this breakthrough has come only in the last 7 months or so. I was allowed to meet family members more than a year ago, but wasn’t allowed in their home until this fall. We went even further last month; I was invited to a family function. That might seem anti-climatic, but trust me, it took two and half years of hard work, lots of ups and downs, to get that invitation. And it sure was a party! It was the most fun Saturday night I’ve had in a long time.

Picture this: a group of 30: 20 loud adults, 10 young kids (most crying), in Old Country Buffet (worse than Hometown Buffet) to celebrate Granny’s birthday, and then there’s me, one of three Caucasian women. It was a sight to see my friends! I had the privilege of sitting next to Granny for most of the dinner, and chatting with her about her family. I learned even more about this culture I’m serving, unspoken rules that aren’t to be broken. Of course I broke them, but my friend was quick to shush me, and promise to explain it all later. That’s a good disciple right there! So I got to meet sister-in-law’s siblings, half brothers, brother-in-law’s aunties, and even Granny’s boyfriend, all over plates of chicken, green beans, macaroni and cheese, nachos, corn, French fries, popcorn shrimp, mashed potatoes and gravy, ice cream, cheesecake, and of course the highlight of Old Country: Slurpees! (Yes, I had a tummy ache after dinner.) One thing to note (remember this for when you receive your invitation) is that every time you get up get a new plate, the babies all get passed around and everyone sits down in a different seat.

One of my favorite moments happened while I was sitting next to brother-in-law, who was sitting where I had been sitting, and where I had left my purse. Keep in mind that sister, wife of said brother-in-law, and I have had a run in or two over the years, and most of my nerves concerning the night were over having to interact with sister. Brother-in-Law, saw my purse under the table, and politely asked if it belonged to me. In typical Robyn fashion (a little too quick to speak and make a bad joke), replied, “Yeah, so don’t be trying to steal my money.” Immediately, I thought to myself, Why did I just say that?!?, but put on an extra big smile, that said, I wasn’t accusing you, promise. His eyes got big, he got serious, and the apparently deep respect he feels for me came pouring out. “I don’t want to even think about what Jesus would do to me, if I stole your money.” And just like that, all the downs of the ups and downs of ministry are worth it.

Another of my favorite moments was the phone call I got later that night. Granny herself, called me. She thanked me for my card, told me she was so blessed by having me there, and my investment in her grand daughter. Ready for the icing on the cake? Granny told me I fit in with the family so well, just like one of her own kids. And she thinks of me as she does her own daughters.

Amen! I’m totally in! I thought about changing my name, but quickly threw that thought away so I could celebrate what Jesus was doing. I wonder how far he will take this family? And I wonder how He’ll use me to do it. Fun thoughts! The night was a picture of success: invitation to a family birthday bash, where almost everyone initiated conversation with me, where my bad jokes were forgiven, and I was considered one of the family. Now, I just need a nickname. Oh yeah, they already gave me one: Lil’ Rob Rob from The Hood.

January 13, 2012

Seeds. They go mostly unnoticed by man, they seem inconsequential. They are easy to ignore, and if you want to see them to have to look very carefully. To see spiritual seeds, you can look carefully, but you have to ask. You must ask for new eyes, and a divine revelation. And you have to be hungry. And humble. There’s nothing like a huge tree full of stinky, rotting, black, and moldy fruit. In your front yard. One or two, or if you’re a slow learner, even three. And now you’re hungry. Now you’re humble. And now you Fear the Lord. Now is a good time to ask to see seeds, now is a good time to clean.

Wait until tomorrow, you say? Yes, that is an option. But tomorrow it wont be a seed. It will be a very small tree. It has little roots, and is growing in strength. Soon it will have fruit. And it will not be a pleasing aroma. Don’t wait until tomorrow.

But it’s so small, you say? Yes, but the smaller the seed, the larger the tree. And the more fruit. Yes, you can ignore it, or cover it up, minimize it. In the next season your front yard will be littered with soft, juicy, and rotting fruit. Maybe then you will be hungry and humble. But maybe not.

Look here, at all this good fruit, you say? Yes, it’s good. Beautiful. Even glorious. But what’s that to do with the stench arising? Jesus said it. Both can grow together, but only for a time. The Day of Harvest is coming and the fruit will be sorted. “I will tell the harvesters to sort out the weeds, tie them into bundles, and burn them.” The Day of Harvest is coming, and there will be fire on that day. But that’s another topic. “The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will remove from his Kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil.” The Day of Harvest is coming.

Then what will be placed in the barn, you ask? It sprouted from a mustard seed, it sprouted in your heart. It became the largest of garden plants, it grew into a tree. And it sustained life.

They go mostly unnoticed by man, they seem inconsequential. So get hungry. So get humble. For you can see the seeds of your heart! Ask for new eyes and divine revelation. Stop asking all other questions. This is the Kingdom of God. Seeds.

This City

By Erianna Swansey

9th Grader at SAMI

Member of SOZO Church

Edited (but just a little) by Robyn Buchanan

Growing up in Tacoma definitely is a challenge, and you wouldn’t really be able to understand until you live here for a week and maybe a half. It’s rough being surrounded by people that you can’t trust and feel betrayed by, but I guess that’s where we can learn a lesson. You can’t really trust anyone but God. Living in Tacoma is like a repeating cycle of generations. My mom’s generation rubbed off on my generation, and so on. I grew up in Tacoma under a lot of struggle, coming from a family of a single mom and drug addict for a dad, my sister and two brothers. Struggle was our middle name, low income because my dad needed drugs, and a lot of broken hearts. Tacoma is really a broken city, but I believe we as people have the potential to change this city around and make people care a little bit more, love a little bit more. The point of my story is, growing up in Tacoma, you will see struggle! People in this city are careless and want nothing to do with anyone! Filthy rich and want it all for themselves. Greed over something that god created for everyone, including the poor and sometimes people don’t use money for the right things. Tacoma, hear me and my message. I want everyone to know that living in Tacoma is hard. Sleepless nights, thoughts of suicide and second thoughts of heaven or hell. tears of joy and sadness at times. It’s sad, but it’s true. Not sugar coated, nothing more and nothing less. Most people try and cover up the truth with a lie. Today what I want Tacoma to know is we are not perfect, but this is not what God wanted for our city! I’m sure of it, I’m sure his heart hurts to see a teenager die almost every month. A teenager pregnant at 15. Abortions, gangs, drugs. Their all works of the devil, little tricks to get you one step closer to him, to the place where you’ll burn for eternity. The devil does not care about you; he cares about getting you closer and closer to him. My take home message is, help your friends and help your fellow citizens to open their eyes to a different Tacoma. A Tacoma where the violence is all turned into peace, and the abortions that are killing innocent babies are banned, and the death rate drops just a little bit more every month. Lets stop living for ourselves, and live for the Man we want to be with for eternity.