"Oh Jesus!"

This could be the longest blog post ever, but read on because it's worth it. Promise.

I had the most incredible ministry experience I’ve ever had. Here’s how it happened.

Three years ago I led a cabin for summer camp. Four girls. They ran away, got high in the woods, stayed up all night ignoring my requests to go to sleep, and left the second day. Welcome to urban ministry Robyn.

About 8 months ago I ran into three of the girls at the mall (every good story includes the Tacoma Mall, don’t you think?) I exchanged numbers with one of them, and heard from this lovely lady two to three times a week, we just liked to say “Good Morning!” to each other and see what our plans were for the day. About four months ago she needed a ride to an appointment, this lovely lady was becoming a lovely mama.

This week I dropped off a Pack N’ Play for said lovely mama, and was so happy to see another friend from that fateful day of summer camp! This is how it went:

Lovely mama: yelling across the apt “Hey girl, you gonna tell Robyn?”

Lovely mama’s mama: “Girl, stop running your mouth. She doesn’t need to tell anyone. She has an appointment.”

Lovely mama: “She hasn’t made an appointment YET!”

Here's a helpful translation for you:

Lovely mama: “Are you going to tell Robyn you’re pregnant. I want you to tell her, that’s why I’m yelling across the house right now.”

Lovely mama’s mama: “Don’t talk about this, she’s probably going to terminate the pregnancy.”

Lovely mama: “There’s still hope mom, she hasn’t made the appointment yet.”

Game time! I went into the other room, where this friend was laying on the floor reading a book. This friend, let’s call her Eva; it means life. Eva can be a VERY quiet lady, a sentence more than 3 words is rarely heard. I asked her a couple questions, and then just waited. I knew she wanted to talk; she just needed some time. Sure enough, her heart came pouring out: fears of raising a child that would have to endure the same life she’s had to, not knowing dad, never seeing mom, having to be raised by grandma, and feeling guilty every single day. Plus, the dad already said he didn’t need a third kid. She was scared. No, terrified.

When someone’s life is hanging in the balance, I usually don’t know what to say. I just freak out on the inside, pray something like, “Oh Jesus!” and then calmly say what I know to be true. This is going to be hard, the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but I know you, and I know God, and you CAN do it. I know it’s not what you were hoping for, not what is best, not what people are telling you to do, but you CAN do it. I told her briefly about other girls who I know that are parenting, and resources that are out there. And then I prayed, really hard.

Later that night in my churches prayer room (all good stories should include a prayer room too), I decided to try to get her in for an ultrasound appointment. 96% of women who see their babies via ultrasound decide to carry to term. I made a phone call to my amazing friends at CareNet. We came up with a plan to get her an ultrasound the next day. Eva liked the idea.

She first needed to take a pregnancy test, and afterward was able to talk to a CareNet advocate who gave her lots of information on all her options. As we drove to another CareNet clinic for her ultrasound appointment, she told me learning so much made it easier, she wasn’t as scared and could think more clearly.

I waited in the reception area, praying more “Oh Jesus!” types of prayers. The nurse came and invited me to the back; Eva had asked if I could come too. They hadn’t started the ultrasound yet, so I got to see the whole thing. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I got to see this little person being knit together by the hand of God, right there in front of my face. The Great and Glorious King, my Jesus, was marking this little person with His image, in perfect wisdom giving it gifts and talents, personality, a destiny. Deciding weather it will like ice cream or not. The reality is mind blowing! We got to see its head, body, arms, hands, bones, the right AND left sides of its brain, its beating heart. We got to watch it do flips and suck its thumb! Eva laughed a little; she was falling in love, and was slightly relieved that her baby had a brain.

After the ultrasound, we went back to a little room to talk. The nurse had already talked to Eva, and therefore knew that she wasn’t sure if she would keep it or not. We went over the ultrasound pictures, and the nurse asked if Eva would want to hear about what an abortion procedure would be like for her stage in the pregnancy. As the nurse explained it, all information I knew, my mind started to reel a bit. I’ll be honest; it shook me up a bit. How many have sat in this room and made a decision? How many chose to keep their baby? How many didn’t? I wondered about what Eva was thinking and feeling. I marveled at the nurse, she was amazing, speaking the truth with a heart so full of love. Then she prayed. We scheduled a follow up appointment on our way out the door.

I walked out speechless, but knew I couldn’t stay that way. “Oh Jesus!”

I asked Eva what she thought, and she had quite a few. “I didn’t know the baby was so big, it was moving so much! And it can suck its thumb! I guess it’s not much of a decision now. And I guess it doesn’t matter as much, what he says, I would have to live with all the regret anyway.”

Relief doesn’t really begin to describe how I felt, but it’s the only word I can think of. She was going to carry the baby to term. Parenting or perhaps choosing a mom and dad to parent, that is a decision that we now have time for. In the meantime, I’m celebrating with all my heart! That little flippy floppy thumb sucking person, carrying the Glory of God, is going to live! Oh Jesus!

I ate ice cream to celebrate, and I think that little baby is going to like ice cream too.